Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Babysitters Club 2.0





So here's what's going on this week in book news: people are way over the new Shakespeare play discovery because honestly, probably no one cared in the first place. They just acted like they did because it seemed like the right thing to do. If someone told you they were reading it, it was a lie. In reality, this news only mattered to comp lit/theater double majors, and the three of them aren't real people anyway.



In more important literary hearsay, Scholastic book publisher is in the midst of re-releasing the 90's classic, "The Babysitters Club." Which, seems awesome until you remember that this was the book that tricked you into thinking babysitting was cool... Then you tried it, and learned the word "fiction" actually means "a huge fucking lie."

It also made you think babysitting would help you get friends. Yet another piece of "fiction" because there you were watching music videos on a stranger's couch while all your friends were learning to play flip cup in Dan Poutas' basement. That's what I call making a memory. Now, when you play in college and suck, people mock you saying, "did you even go to high school?" Ughhh.

Not to mention the first book is titled "Kristi's Great Idea." 1) These characters were supposed to be role models for young girls. The fact that she's Kristi with an I, indicates she is destined to be a huge slutbag. 2). "Great" is an adjective we were always taught to thesaurus, and 3) what a terrible business plan the club really was. They definitely should have made a SWOT analysis first...


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Hot New Book Release!!

Coming to a Hudson News location near you!

Scholars far and wide are celebrating the discovery of a newly found Shakespeare play entitled Double Falsehood... Simultaneously, high school students around the world are saying, "shit-- are you kidding me?" Then faking sick.


SPOILER ALERT: David Carnegie, a theater professor reported, "Basically it is a double love story. Two young couples and things go very badly wrong when a prince betrays his closest male friend and steals his mistress as well as betraying his own mistress. Basically everybody goes up into the mountains and goes mad or utterly distraught from love and finally things reach a romantic ending at the finish."
... Then Shakespeare was forced to appear before the Honor Council and was put on Academic Probation for plagiarizing Gossip Girl Season 1. He was last heard muttering, "fuck you, TurnItIn.com." Experts think he should have been expelled, but his Uncle Morie donated the on-campus Hillel House.

Read the real story at the Guardian

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

These Are My Confessions

I know I promised I wouldn't turn this into an American Idol blog, but since it's on 5 hours a week, aka that's how I spend 5 hours of my week, give me some leeway.

Confession of the moment: I am sexually attracted to the kid with the mullet on American Idol and I'm not embarrassed nor emotionally upset about it.




Kara Di-who-guardi?



I never thought I'd say this: but I miss Paula Abdul's crying. At least it guided my voting in a productive way. Not to mention Kara dresses significantly less slutty than Paula did, which I can see as a total turn off for the general target demographic.

Sloaned.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Dangers of Wifi in School Libraryz


Danger #1: There are homeless people playing with googlemaps on the computer which I need to print out an article from JSTOR.

I could be mistaken-- I'm not wearing my glasses. And I know plaid is really in these days, but the "hipster homeless" look hasn't hit Vanderbilt too hard, so I'm probably right.





I'm not a fan of petitions since the people signing them rarely ever know what they're supporting and always run off with the pen, so I guess I'll just get over it. But I want it on the record that I was concerned and voiced it.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Leans

Forget Jeggins (leggings that look like jeans for those of you aliens out there)-- this spring hop on the band wagon for Leans. They're like jeggings on opposite day. The look like leggings but are in fact, jean material. You might be saying: "that sounds both uncomfortable and unnecessary-- why would you want that?"

...I'm not disagreeing with any of that. Don't ask questions.



Sloanehenge gets interactive-->
Trivia Question: In this photo, are those jeans, or jeggings?
Nobody knows.
Indigo Blue Jeggings - Light Weight Jeans - Hard Wash
Except I do: they're jeggings, whatt upp.