MTV Movie Awards

Things we NEED to talk about: The MTV Movie Awards.  Were we being Punk'd?  Maybe.   I can't take MTV seriously for at least 2 weeks now.

First things first:  Andy Samberg, marry me.  However, I disagree with your choice to allow LeAnne Rimes, Forest Whitiker, and Chris Isaak to sing a bad medley of your songs. We wanted youuuu, or at least, Justin Timberlake.  It's okay you can make it up to me later.

Let's look at some of the retarded choices the "fans" chose. 

BEST MOVIE 

• Twilight
• The Dark Knight
• High School Musical 3: Senior Year
• Iron Man
• Slumdog Millionaire

Really?  Really?!?  I notice that Slumdog Millionaire is on that list.  Oh wait, oh wait, you're right MTV the Oscars were wrong.  Twilight was soo much deeper.

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE

• Angelina Jolie - Wanted
• Anne Hathaway- Bridewars
• Kate Winslet - The Reader
• Kristen Stewart - Twilight
• Taraji P. Henson - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Let's talk Kristen Stewart.  First, you're not yet famous enough to be that shit faced at an award show.  That's like Anna Nicole Smith status.  Nor are you famous enough to wear Converse Sneakers to an award show.  That's like Pete Wentz status.  I guess Prince could also pull it off, but he won't.  Respek.  Oh, and although not required, it's typically expected that one washes ones hair before, oh, leaving the house let alone receiving multiple awards for a movie that doesn't deserve it.

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE

• Christian Bale - The Dark Knight
• Robert Downey Jr. - Iron Man
• Shia LaBeouf - Eagle Eye
• Vin Diesel - Fast & Furious
• Zac Efron - High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Zac Efron's hot, and there was that one erotic shirtless scene, but still.  Robert DJ or Christian Bale shouldaaaa won.  Even though I still have a crush on Shia LaBeouf from Even Steven Days, I can't be selfish during these times.

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE FEMALE

• Amanda Seyfried - Mamma Mia!
• Ashley Tisdale - High School Musical 3: Senior Year
• Freida Pinto - Slumdog Millionaire
• Miley Cyrus- Hannah Montana: The Movie
• Vanessa Hudgens - High School Musical 3: Senior Year
• Kat Dennings - Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist

WTF.  I'm not even gonna go there.  ANYONE would have been better.  Nicolas Cage in "Wicker Man" would have been better, and he's not even a female.

MAD.