TEAM JACWARD

The long awaited release of the third Twilight movie, Eclipse, remains relatively successful at the box office with sales up to $162 million after only five days. This figure is somewhat disappointing however, considering it falls a few million dollars behind the previous Twilight film, New Moon. Not to worry, the more important pressing issue is being addressed: Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Social activist fast food chain, “Burger King” seems to be taking this century long debate seriously with it’s new advertising campaign: “The BK Eclipse game.” In an effort to decide who is a more suitable bachelor, Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner, Burger King brings in “real Team Edward and Team Jacob members” to plead their case to swing voters who are simply trying to enjoy their Whopper Jr. at BK.

How “real” is the scene? The quality of the acting leads one to believe these campaign members may not be professional performers. However, it is still unclear.

Highlights: teenage girls persuade elderly men one way or the other by addressing major points such as; “you can pet Jacob,” a huge plus!! Or, “Edward has had over 100 years to learn how to love” and everyone knows practice makes perfect. And wrapping up with the rhetorical (?) question; “who would you rather have your granddaughter date: a werewolf or a vampire? To which and old man respectfully replies, “neither.” It is something to think about though.

Everyone knows Jacob has an unfair advantage because he is shirtless for a majority of the movie.

On the other hand, Bella loved Edward first. On the other, other hand, Bella is childhood/family friends with Jacob. Back to the first hand, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are involved in real life, which always excites people.

Hopefully Burger King can get to the bottom of this. If not, we may have to turn to

Wendy’s for reinforcement, which is never pretty.