Current Events

Even though I'm in Denmark learning (and being drunk) most of the time, I've made a pact from here on out that I will keep up with US current events.  Thanks to the Dailybeast.com cheat sheet (literally unreal) which I discovered through The Colbert Report, I have rejoined society starting today.

There are so many ridiculous current events right now that I can't help judge them. And now, my thoughts:

22 Year Old Virgin:  So this chick Natalie Dylan is auctioning her virginity on ebay.  The bid is up to 3.8 million.  My questions:  Must one use paypal?  Can one purchase a knock off Balenciaga Bag in the same transaction? And lastly... Isn't prostitution, like, illegal?  How is this even allowed to be happening?  I can't tell if this girl is a genius or a nutcase, a prude or a slut.  

With a lung capacity like that, obviously Michael Phelps is gonna smoke weed.  Why does anyone even care?  Leave the kid alone.  He just won 8 gold medals in one Olympics.  He should be able to shoot up heroin at an elementary school if he so chooses.  But "Sheriff Lott" wants to investigate because Michael Phelps "broke the law."  What-ever.  He says Phelps should have the same punishment as anyone else.  If they're gonna let Natalie Dylan use ebay as her pimp, they should let Michael Phelps hit the bong once in a while.  It's all very hipocritical.  Plus, I don't really see Michael (yes, we're on a first name basis because he's my brother's ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.  In other words, we're basically best friends) having time to do community service.  He's too busy swimming really fast.  Just like Speedo, I continue to support Michael Phelps, drugs or no drugs.  Although, I am still a little mad at him for rejecting my facebook friendship not once, but four times.  Ugh M Phelps, you're playing soo hard to get.

Music Alert: I don't know how current this event is but it's new to me.  You can buy the entire Summer Heights High soundtrack on ITunes.  Best $10 i spent all day (and I purchased a shwarma salad about an hour ago, so that's really saying something.)  

Musical Alert: A production company (name unknown) has decided to produce a musical about the original Charles Ponzi scheme.  Theft, scandal, Boston in the 1920's in the form of musical numbers... What more could we ask for?  No actors have signed on yet, but if I had to cast, I'd probably sayyy Matthew Broderick as Charles, John Travolta as the older Charles, and Zach Efron as young Charles.  My choices are based on the fact that those three actors are basically identical making the whole thing more realistic.  And in a musical, it's especially important to obtain that sense of realism.

Back on the Road: Nick Hogan's driving privileges were supposed to be suspended until 2011 because he, oh yeah, killed his best friend while drag racing.  However, court's decided he can now drive sometimes.  Thank God... it was getting really annoying having to pick him up all the time.