Saturday, January 31, 2009

Ima buy you a drankkk

I don't perform well in high stress situations, I spill a lot, and it takes me longer than the typical high school graduate to calculate simple numbers in my head. I'm a thinker, not a do-er, a lover, not a fighter. But somehow, Lindsey talked me into volunteering to bartend at Studentheuser on Friday.

In 2005, when I worked at Gigi (the hideous bag store on the top floor of the Atrium... No, you've never been in there unless I made you bring me my down jacket when the heat broke in January.) I made my mom come in a buy something so I could practice using the register. Our shift started at midnight, so there was no time for such practice.

So as I said before, the cash register did not tell you how much change to give. Since I don't own a calculator, and I thought people would judge me for tabulating on my blackberry, I often had to stall (make convo, pretend the computer wasn't working, (half) pretend I didn't know which kroner coins were which, etc) so I could figure out the change. Eventually I resorted to giving everyone the member discount even if they weren't members because member draft beer was 25 kronah, and non member was 34. Soo much easier. Bottles were another story because member price was 17. I didn't even know the 17 times table existed.
Highlights of the night: 1) Getting hit on by a Danish lesbian, 2) being asked on a date by a danish straight man (who said he'd call tomorrow "but in boy time that means Thursday" -Alicia Silverstone, Clueless, 1995.) I obviously am not going on this alleged date because foreign people freak me out. 3) Lindsey being offered weed by some random guy, and him actually expecting her to take it.
Low points of the night: 1) Getting yelled at for not bottle opening the beer. 2) Getting yelled at for bottle opening the beer... Everything I do is wrong :(
Frequently asked question of the night: What's 17 times (insert # of dranks here).
At first, I was pretty sure all the people who actually worked there hated us and thought we were idiots. They probably got that impression because I couldn't figure out what 17 times 2 was without thinking about it for 5 minutes. But in the end, I think they thought it was cute.
All in all, we loved every minute of it (except when I was stressed and getting yelled at) but, I won't quit my day job.

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