From the Desk of
Sloan Greenberg
Dear Safari Web Browser,
I know we've been together for quite some time, in fact, you may be my longest functioning relationship to date. But, with my new 20-something, 20-everything lyfestyle and all, I think we need to talk.
It's not you, it's me. Okay, I guess it's a little bit you. What did you do? Nothing, that's the problem. Other web browsers (who shall remain nameless for now) are frequently asking me if I want new updates, what do you ask me? Huh? If I want to allow this pop-up at this time? It's hardly worth the sentiment... You've really let yourself go and I feel like you don't even care about anything anymore. Do you care about anything?
You're right, it's not just you. There is someone else, if there weren't, I'd have no other choice but to deal with you due to my dependency issues. How else would I get to Wikipedia? His name is Firefox. Yes, the one I used to hate, but now I think I might love... And that's what excites me. He's constantly making himself better and in turn, making me better.
What does he have that you don't have? Um, Stumbleupon for starters! He introduces me to new and exciting things with the click of just one button. What do you have to offer? ... That's what I thought.
It's not you, it's me. Okay, I guess it's a little bit you. What did you do? Nothing, that's the problem. Other web browsers (who shall remain nameless for now) are frequently asking me if I want new updates, what do you ask me? Huh? If I want to allow this pop-up at this time? It's hardly worth the sentiment... You've really let yourself go and I feel like you don't even care about anything anymore. Do you care about anything?
You're right, it's not just you. There is someone else, if there weren't, I'd have no other choice but to deal with you due to my dependency issues. How else would I get to Wikipedia? His name is Firefox. Yes, the one I used to hate, but now I think I might love... And that's what excites me. He's constantly making himself better and in turn, making me better.
What does he have that you don't have? Um, Stumbleupon for starters! He introduces me to new and exciting things with the click of just one button. What do you have to offer? ... That's what I thought.
And why did you have close unexpectedly when you KNEW I was looking up the symptoms for Swine Flu? You obviously don't care about my health or general well being at all. Were you trying to insinuate that I'm a hypochondriac? That's just insensitive and frankly, rude.
This is not to say we can never work out in the future. I just think you need to take some time to work on you before you can put it on me.
Yours always (except for right now and moving forward),
Sloan Henge Greenberg
"The hottest love has the coldest end." - Socrates
Who would win in a fight to the death: Safari or Firefox?
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