Saturday, May 9, 2009

Things I Miss...

I officially leave Copenhagen one week from today.  :(  Couldn't be sadder.  Everyone keeps asking me if I'm ready to go home.  I'm not.  Other than essentially living in poverty... (because Copenhagen: how DARE you be more expensive than London?)  ... I've never lived better.  Sure, my teachers were incompetent, but then again, one of my major assignments was to friend my professor on facebook.  Sure, it was dark and cold for the first 3 months but then again so was Madison and at least here, I didn't knock "Jose's" binder off his desk with my coat everyday in second semester Spanish (even though I had previously taken Spanish for 8 semesters and lived in Barcelona for a month... nbd I don't placement-test well.)  And sure I miss my parents, but after Skype tried to sell Linda (my mom) porn, she bought an international phone plan so it's as if I'm not even gone!

But last night, something hit me.  It told me that it really is time to go.  What was the sign that led to this revolution?  I ran out of Crystal Light.  The reason this is so serious is because Linda sent 24 containers 

(I'd say each container makes 3-4 large mixed drinks) MID APRIL.  That means in less than a month I've roughly consumed 96 glasses of Crystal Light Mixed drink (round down for the occasional lending, or more likely spillage).  Let's not even talk about the amount of alcohol here, because thats not even what's important.  It just really cant be healthy to consume that much artificial sweetener, am I right?  I'm not gonna panic until I grow a third arm, but if my first born son has characteristics of FAS, I'm not gonna blame the booze.

So as not to depress myself about leaving, I have compiled a list of things I'm excited for back in the US.

1. My Inhaler.  Shut up, yes I still have asthma.  But no, I didn't know that until I came here without my inhaler and now it is too late.  I went to the Apotek (aka pharmacy) and literally the ONE thing in Europe you need a prescription for are inhalers.  I'm gonna assume there was an epidemic of kids getting high off albuterol and making bad decisions.
Denmark won't have that.          

2.  The Verizon Store:  I never thought I'd say this but the T key on my blackberry is broken so a typical conversation usually goes like this:
Nikki Bogo: hej 
Stacy Greenberg: hej, le's ge lunch
Nikki Bogo: at hey bagel?
Stacy Greenberg: ha sounds grea , mee me a he sairs a school
Nikki Bogo: ...  

2.  Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla Iced Coffee with a little bit of skim milk and splenda.  No explanation needed.                                     

3. Pandora.com.  There's this other one that works in Europe but it's really not the same.  As much as I used to hate it, I really miss Pandora asking, "are you still listening?"  I've never had a website so concerned about me, and I appreciate it.

4. Having a brain
It took me 6 days to write a film paper.  WTF.  Granted the topic was... oh, wait, there was no topic.  Quote from syllabus: The topics for the research paper are decided by the student and the instructor.  Normally, it would be on (or relate to) subjects and films dealt with in the course. It is possible to write about other topics. What other topics?  Does it even have to be about film?  Could I write about Bosnia/ Ferderal Republic of Yugoslavia conflict?  I wouldn't... but could I?  It seem like yes.  
Let's focus on where it says normally.  Normally?  In my experience, normally a final paper is decided by the instructor.  If it's not, it's most definitely supposed to "be on (or relate to) subjects deal with in the course.  Apparently Anne Jespersen's definition of normalcy is different than mine.  Then again, a lot of her thoughts are different than mine.  
When I finally finished that paper, literally 30 seconds before I had to hand it in, I had to start on my Hans Christian Andersen paper.  The topic for this was a little (but only a little) more straightforward.  Yes, my final paper was to write a creative fairy tale, that was the first part.  The second part consisted of giving a dramatic reading to the class, unless you were shy, in which case you did not have to. 
 We ended up not doing dramatic readings because my teacher either forgot, or got over it.  We did however, perform our midterm which consisted of taking a disposable camera, taking 10 pictures, and creating a fairy tale.  Ours was called "The Lone Krone."  Duh.
Anyway, since you're dying to know...my final paper fairy tale began as such:  "The Big Spoon, the Little Spoon, and The Knife lived quite fanciful lives (then I inserted a google image of a table setting because we all know how much Hans Christian Andersen loved drawings). One could even say they lived like kings, lying horizontal all but three times a day.  Their time consisted of resting or being in the company of food, kind of like a cat."
This assignment literally took me a whole day to finish, it was only 5 pages AND i even did the thing were you replace all the 12 font sized periods with 14 font sized periods, which really makes all the difference.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?  Nobody knows.
Then we had to design a T Shirt for Creative Industries and give a powerpoint presentation.  We all know how much I lovvve a powerpoint.  I didn't get the memo however that this was a serious assignment.  After making a mockery of the presentation by adding ridiculous sounds and animation as well as photo shopping Taylor's head onto Andrew's body, I realized a Danish Fashion designer was coming to our presentations to give us feedback.  
At this point it was too late.  Luckily, she didn't HATE our idea, except for the fact that it could never ever be made because it violated so many intellectual property rights.  This wouldn't be our fault except that the entire class is essentially about copyrighting. Whatevvv.  

5. Netflix
I used to watch movies to help me fall asleep.  So, now I'm classically conditioned to fall asleep about 15 minutes into every movie.  This is a problem because, as many of you know, I'm a film student.  Therefore, a class I take here screens 2 movies a week.  I physically cannot go because I'll fall asleep in my desk and all the kids in that class already hate me.  No one knows why, but when we did class rep elections, I literally got 3 votes.  
How do I know this? Because we all stayed in the room during voting and as normal teachers would, Anne Jespersen not only did not have us close our eyes, but she also put the tally marks on the board... and did not erase them... Therefore, everyone who had class in that room after me, could see how unpopular I was.
Back to what's important, you would think I'd have this same falling asleep issue at Vanderbilt film screenings.  I do.  But I don't go because of NETFLIX to the rescue.  I even get reimbursed from insurance because narcolepsy is, luckily, considered a serious medical issue.  If I know it in advanced, I can put it in my queue.  If i don't I can borrow someone's PC and watch it online.   Question of the hour (and every hour for that matter)  why the F can't you watch Netflix online on a Mac?  Sooo dumb and out of character... 
 Anyway, then I can fall asleep 15 minutes in, set an alarm for 20 min later, wake up rewind, and be fine.  Can't do that here.  This leads me to my current dilemma.  I have 8 movies (mind you LONNNG foreign movies with subtitles) to watch before Monday because I haven't attended a film screening nor trekked to Blockbuster since the Midterm.  NBD, but in reality a very BD.  

-I miss my car, mainly driving with music so loud I felt it unnecessary to install the beeptronic feature, because lets be real, if I was backing into something and it started beeping, there's no way I'd ever hear it.  
-I miss having going out shoes where the heel didn't fall off, but since it happened to both feet, I wear them anyway.  
-I miss the CVS, even just to browse. 
-I miss corn tortillas being the staple of my diet.  
-I dangerously miss frozen yogurt to the point I'm worried about myself.  
-I miss having a cell phone smaller than my thumb because yet agaiiiin I misplaced it last night. Don't worry -I found it, unlike last time when I left it at a bar that I'm pretty sure the owners picked up and emigrated in the middle of the night.  Apparently all they needed was one more piccell to auction on Ebay so they could afford to live the American Dream.
-I miss Smart Water.
-I miss having a computer that doesn't have to be plugged into the wall at all times (but who knows when that will really be fixed)
-I miss Orbit gum, which I really don't even like.  I suppose distance makes the heart grow fonder.
-I miss unattractive Americans because Danish people are unfairly hot. Understandable because the vikings killed all the ugly ones, but still unfair to those of us common people...


So, for those of you studying abroad who are getting sad about leaving, feel free to use my list as a way to see the bright side of going home.

Sloanout.

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